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There's no lack of reindeer and Santa sightings this time of year. And I’m not talking “Up on the house top” sightings either. I’m referring to those frolicsome pieces of holiday outerwear.
If you plan to go shopping anytime between now and December 25th, you'll likely notice holiday commodities displayed with all the intensity of a blizzard; jewelry, cosmetics, boxers, lingerie, pajama pants, lollypops and socks – where did all those socks come from anyway?!? But for true Christmas revelers, these are the low hanging fruit of the holiday cornucopia. For them, the real pursuit is in search of the Holiday Holy Grail, “The Christmas Sweater.”
And pursue it they do. And thank you eBay for contributing to the insanity! Whatever happened to my plain ol’ red and green Christmas sweatshirt? Aunties, grandmas and mothers-in-law have disguised it with Giant Santa’s, Gleeful Snowmen, Intricate Snowflakes, Little Drummer Boys, Lords a Leaping, Golden Rings, Reindeer patterned after hieroglyphics, and Christmas trees of unnatural colors. And they seem to be picking on more than just my beloved sweatshirts.
Just yesterday I saw 1 turtleneck, 2 V-necks, 3 cardigans and a partridge in a pear tree adorned with scenes of penguins wearing Santa tuxedos, snowmen caroling, and angels trimming trees. Penguins in Santa tuxedos? One desecrated sweat shirt pronounced “Such joy can hardly be contained!” Hardly be contained? Hasn’t been contained! As if sweatshirts weren’t sacred enough the craze has enveloped cardigans, turtle necks, tee-shirts ties, socks, belts, coats, hats, gloves and (may the Great Grinch Intervene!) our underwear. Well, not my underwear, of course.
I don’t know about you, but the next time I head out to the company Christmas party, a holiday Broadway show, or midnight mass I’m leaving “The Christmas Sweater” hung with care - in the closet.
Happy Holidays!
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